When can we go out again?

Leaving William is something I find very hard but it’s definitely getting easier.

The very first time I left him he was just 2 weeks old and I had to pop across the road to the doctors for a blood test. He was fed, he was sleeping, he was with Daddy – I’ll only be 5 minutes I thought. Turns out my body didn’t want to play giving blood and several attempts and about half an hour later I was finally out. I didn’t really think much about leaving him then. He was mostly sleeping and I was a zombie.

I’ve left him several times since; always with far too much milk, always in tears (me not him) and always with his Daddy. I even made it to the cinema to see La La Land (by the way when is it my turn to be Emma Stone?)

BUT last night, at nearly 20 weeks old, William was left with his Nana and Grandad so we could both go out. We went to see Ladyhawke and it was sooooo good. She was so good, she was amazing, and I spent an hour and 10 minutes gazing at her as I bopped away wishing I could be as cool (and as slim) as her. We went straight home afterwards to a happy sleeping baby boy.

For the first time though I didn’t cry when we left the house, I didn’t cry when we arrived at the gig venue, I didn’t constantly panic and worry about William (I did text a few times though). But for the first time away from him I relaxed and I really enjoyed myself!

When can we go out again?

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Not just a cat mum.

Not so long ago the idea of having my own children started to come onto my radar.

So we got a cat. A beautiful black cat from Battersea that we called Luna. She was a 5 month old kitten and she was my baby. I was her mummy and Graeme (my husband) was her daddy.

A few months passed and I absolutely adored Luna which only increased my desire for a real human baby. It was ALL I could think about. So we pretty quickly made the decision that we would start trying. It took just 4 months. Those 4 months felt like a lifetime.  I charted my temperature looking for spikes and dips, I spent (wasted) hours on mum forums reading about what women’s early pregnancy signs and symptoms were. I even found myself once googling “itchy left foot pregnancy symptom” yep, you’ll find some stuff, you can convince yourself that absolutely anything happening to your body could mean you’re pregnant. The only time I really thought “hang on, maybe I’m pregnant” I was out running with 2 friends after school (i’m a teacher). I got a weird cramp that I’d never ever had and it was so uncomfortable I had to stop and walk back to school. A few days later I got my positive test.

Excited, scared, nervous, anxious…mostly excited I showed my husband and we were beside ourselves with happiness. Shit. What do we do now? We told immediate family straight away who were all very very happy for us. It was amazing and exciting and already I look forward to the day I can say “I’m pregnant again.” Yes, I want another one!

After a loooooooooong 9 months a beautiful baby boy was born, William John. Born at 6.46am on the 3rd October 2016,  weighing 7lbs 13oz. And so I became a Mum. Not just a cat mum anymore, a real Mum with a capital M.